Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Day Eight - His Biggest Fan!

Really, I AM Ron's biggest fan.  I guess - if I'm going to be honest - I've had doubts as to whether he's my biggest fan. Our arguments are almost always about me.  My feelings.  My needs.  My loneliness. My expectations.  My disappointment.

I won't be so Pollyanna as to indicate that Ron doesn't have those feelings.  Some he does - some he doesn't.  My quandary is that I struggle with  the thought that he's married to a person who takes care of his needs while I'm married to a person who does not.  So, the truth?  This is all jealously.  All of it.  I've known it for a long, long time.  I just never said it out loud.

When I decided to take "The Dare", I figured I would have to face the fact that this was going to end up being all about me.  People think I'm really confident.  Actually, I'm pretty self conscious and do not like to focus on myself.  Even Ron has a hard time believing that I'm not fond of attention.  I get embarrassed easily, especially if it might be negative.  So, my jumping in with both feet into this is really crazy - but I knew it was necessary.

Well, long story short - I'm being challenged to be Ron's biggest fan which really means a true fan - which means letting go of the jealousy.  I've really REALLY got to work on that.  It's not going to be a one day process.  This is a big challenge.  BIG!

But I love Ron - and he is a good and wonderful man.  So obviously, he's worth it.

Tomorrow's Challenge:

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today.  Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm.  Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Philemon 1:7   7 For we have great joy and consolation in thy love, because the bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother.

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