Nina's latest misadventure - this time at 14,000 feet.

As anyone who friends me on Facebook has already heard - I took my Beloved (Ron) skydiving for his 70th birthday. Yes, I went with him - me, the girl who gets woozy standing on a 3 foot step ladder. Shocking, right?????

So why did I go?

Because, it was Beloved's birthday, of course. I knew that skydiving, in and of itself, was a minor issue. I knew that the true gift would be my going with him, and you see - I love him that much. He stretches me. Without him, I would be an old broad sitting in front of the television watching "House Hunters International" (okay, fine - I already DO watch House Hunters International...but definitely in smaller increments.)

Anyway, I made a promise to myself that I would do one scary thing a year. This will definitely fit the bill for this year - and maybe it will be leveraged as good for a few years to come...haha.

So, it was truly a crazy idea. Beloved has actually has never had the desire to skydive. Hard to believe, I know - I mean what WON'T the man do? Well, for many years, it turns out that jumping out of a plane was one of them....but a few months ago he said to me "I'm turning 70. Seems like I ought to go skydiving to mark the occasion." I thought that was an invitation to arrange it, so I decided 'what the heck." In the meantime Ron immediately forgot he had even said such a crazy thing outloud....so I knew it would be a GREAT......BIG.......SURPRISE.

I thought it a great plan - until I came up with the further thought of "oh, oh - its almost time for me to do a new 'scary'....which means I had better go too."

Last Saturday was the day! I found a local company that actually has what they call 'sunset' dives. Awesome! What could be more perfect?

Still didn't tell Ron. I just told him to "get in the car" as I grabbed a prepared bag consisting of long pants, real shoes (as opposed to the flip flops that we normally wear) and socks.

It took about 40 minutes to get there. He said he figured it out as we started approaching the airport.

At that point he figured I'd give him a kiss and wave bye-bye - so he was really surprised when I started suiting up with him. His eyes got really big, but he said nothing. Ron usually says nothing when he's surprised.

For the next hour we were run through the process of preparing. We watched one of those 'you could die in these 1,000s of ways' movie; handed a form that literally required around 25 signatures stating that 'yes' we knew we could die, 'yes' we know it's dangerous, 'no' we will not sue, 'no' neither will our children, 'no' neither would our attorney, 'yes' if we do we're going to lose because we signed 25 times saying we knew we couldn't, 'yes' we know that we're going to be strapped to another human being who would really prefer to live through the experience also so we agree to follow what they tell us to do to the letter, etc., etc., etc.

Then we waited. There were enough crazy people ... errrr..... divers to require two flights. They decided that the birthday boy should go last, which means I was going 2nd to last....so they pointed to some chairs by the landing strip and invited us to make ourselves at home.

Ron promptly fell asleep.

I worked at thinking happy thoughts.

After 30 minutes, our plane landed from the first group and swung to a stop in front of us. From there everything went rather quickly. We loaded up into an old propeller plane. There were two benches. Each person straddled the bench. There were 3 free divers, and 3 sets of tandem divers.

It took about 5 - 7 minutes to reach altitude. Our instructors then started attaching us to them and cinching up the straps.

It felt like this:

I remember thinking to myself "well, THIS is uncomfortable ..... in so many ways. Talk about up close and personal!

Oh well, who had time to worry about it? Pretty soon crazy people started jumping out of the plane and falling through the sky like dead chickens. Sorry, that's what I thought. Maybe I shouldn't share.

My guy, Joe said "time to go" and we slid to the door. "Dangle your toes out over the edge" says Joe.

"REALLY?????" says I? I was positive my brain would never let my feet do it, but it did! I crouched down as low as a old broad can go and 1.....2.....3...... I was flying! With a big guy strapped to my back.....and immediately after I started breathing again, the thought that hit me was very simply......."OUCH!!!!!!"""

It was FREEZING! I mean really, really freezing!.

Second thought....."OUCH"!!!!!  It turns out that those straps hurt in really uncomfortable places. Whoa! What the heck?

Third thought......"holy crud, my eardrums are going to burst". Hadn't factored in that those little eardrums had gone though a whole lot in their lives, including a week of being sick just prior to the big day, and they clearly were not too thrilled with the startling change of air pressure.

I knew that I needed to equalize them as quickly as possible. Turns out, falling through the sky at the rate of speed we were going, as well as being strapped body and soul to some 'duuuuude' who clearly didn't understand that such extreme strapping might limit my range of motion in ways that would not be convenient, made it very challenging to even get my hand over to my nose so that I could clear my exploding ears.

It took a few seconds, therefore - but once I did - SWEET RELIEF! For a few more seconds. All in all, I had to repeat the action about 6 times - but I was good with that, because it felt wonderful when I did.

In the meantime, the freefall experience was due to end and the floating under a canopy experience was due to commence. One.....two.......three......PLUNK, and........then ."Yeeee-----OUCH".

If I thought the strap was uncomfortable before, that was nothing compared to now - as I was literally hanging off of it.

"Put your knees up and you'll feel much better', Joe yelled.

Liar!

Okay, okay - it looks like I wasn't having a very good time, but interspersed with all of these physical challenges was the fact that I was being treated visually to one of the most spectacular scenes I have ever witnessed.....I was literally 2.5 miles (and descending rather quickly) over a gorgeous lush green tropical island surrounded by the sparkling ocean that practically glows at sunset (well - 20 minutes BEFORE sunset - but timing wise, it was pretty crazy perfect) so I worked really hard to keep looking around and paying attention.

Ron will have to demonstrate the view as he is the one who got the picture package - pretty awesome, yes?

Even when the biggest challenge hit around 2 seconds after the yank of the ripcord....

......and I became immediately airsick....I mean my stomach looped-de-looped like a circus performer. I've always been blessed with the fact that I rarely get physically sick - and this was no different (much to Joe's relief) but MAN, I am 100% positive I turned the deepest shade of green, let me tell ya.

So the remaining 4 minutes of our descent went like this:

Yell "ouch", pinch nose to clear my ears, blow out of my mouth 3 times (to reduce the nausea), look around and say "woo hoo", yell "ouch",  try to lift my knees, pinch, blow......repeat - over and over again.

Until we started circling down to the landing field.

"Okay," Joe yelled. "We're going in! LIFT YOUR KNEES REALLY HIGH"!

"I'll try," I replied weakly.

Didn't happen. I mean, literally it didn't happen.....and I definitely did try. I mean, I run 3 times a week. I go to the gym. I do crunches and back lifts and I really work out - but those knees weren't going ANYWHERE.

And so when we hit the ground, my feet went immediately behind me, the ground came towards me and I went flat on my face - and because there was no other choice, Joe landed right on top of me - like SMACKO, as if I was hit by a gigantic flyswatter.

"Are you okay," he yelled? And may I just mention, he sounded REAAAAALY ANNOYED.

"I'm still breathing. I'm going to live", I said - but what I WANTED to say was "though what does it matter, Joe, because obviously I'm not gonna sue you....riiiiiight?"

He unclipped as quickly as he could, uncovered us both, and then hauled my sad butt up off the ground.

"Thank you Joe," I said sincerely and headed somewhat sideways for the fence, which I used to pull myself back towards the office because Holy Hannah was I one sick puppy!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am now even 2 days later feeling like a smushed bug. I mean, EVERYTHING hurts and my stomach is still doing loop-de-loops. But I've told Ron, as soon as all these aches and pains leave, I am going to be really glad I did this.

I really, really am!

Oh, I should share Ron's adventure. His guy had them flip their way out of the plane (see?) and when they banked and turned, it was more of a roller coaster ride - zoom, zippy, flippy. And when they landed, they landed on their feet - picture perfect - of course.

"Did you like it," I asked?

"It was 'cool'," he replied. Except his safety googles were too tight.

There ya go. So very Ron.

How I responded to the attack that wasn't and why I'm okay with that

WARNING, THIS BLOG IS FULL OF OPINIONS. MY OPINIONS. IF THIS WERE INTENDED TO BE AN ACTUAL NEWS ARTICLE, IT WOULD BE SHORTER AND LESS OBNOXIOUS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

To say that the errant nuclear bomb warning the other weekend was frustrating would be an understatement. Quite honestly, I think we’re all sick of the subject. So, of course, here I am writing about it. But since we’re all sharing our feelings, I have some strong ones (that, by the way, have taken a beating – but we’ll discuss that later)

Here’s what I know. An emergency warning was sent out at 8:07 a.m. on Saturday, January 13. The message was extremely simple. It read “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL’.  For me, I heard nothing. No warnings, no blaring alarm on my phone. Uncharacteristically of me, because I’m an early riser, I slept through almost all of it.

It wasn’t until I rolled out of bed at 8:30, shuffled out to the living room and looked at my phone that I even saw the alert. Now, admittedly, the correct response with such a notification is to SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. I’m not denying that in any way. But I'm going to add, there were in my case extenuating circumstances.

First and foremost, I had no idea what that would entail. I mean, I know what to do in a tsunami (seek higher ground). I even know which higher ground is preferable. I know what to do in a hurricane (I’m assigned to help out at the Cannon Activity Center). For both of these situations I have informational handouts posted in my home and I would follow them to the letter. But I had nothing about a nuclear attack. So, there I stood, blankly staring at a screen. "Huh", I thought. "This is random. What to do? Well, gee....I have no idea what to do."

My second thought was ‘I need to figure out what to do.’ I don’t believe running out the door in hysterics would be the right course of action. I have no safe place in this tiny little apartment full of humongous single pane windows with gaps so wide, Ron floods our bedroom when washing the windows. I may not know much, but I know enough that I would be toast if I stayed here and guess what? Most buildings in beautiful Laie  are in the same condition. Being air tight here appears to be neither necessary nor achievable. So....literally I was a bit stumped.

My third thought, and this all came into my head in breakneck speed, was….. "You know….I don’t think this is real". 

Now it could be because my mind didn’t want to wrap around the reality of my eminent demise, but I don’t think so. As I was standing there – lost as to what I SHOULD do, my mind focused on the possibility that this wasn’t real for the following reasons:

1.       No siren. Where was the siren? We drill and drill and drill in Laie. The first day of every month, we have a siren. Because we are plugged into the emergency preparedness program at BYUH, we get alerts with clear instructions. Every missionary is assigned to participate in alerting and assisting the families assigned to them. Because Laie is so far away from Honolulu, and the State of Hawaii has made it crystal clear that during an emergency their resources and rescue efforts will go where the largest number of people are, we know that we are on our own, and because we be a ‘Mormon’ entity, we've accepted this inevitability and are probably far more prepared than most residents of the island.

Now I’ve been greatly chastised for this opinion that the lack of a siren is a sign that something isn't quite straight. "You don’t have time to worry about a siren' I've been told. Okay, fine. So I should be seeking shelter. But the truth of the situation still frustrates me. Why, I want to know, WAS THERE WAS NO SIREN? I’ve been researching this, rather endlessly because I feel deep inside my soul that I might be on to something (and because I'm obsessive,) and here is what I found out  - all FROM OFFICIAL SOURCES (by-the-way): 

From the FAQ section of the Hawaii Emergency Management System (EMS)

So, if there had been a real missile rocketing towards our tiny island in the middle of the ocean, it would have been detected by some very sophisticated tracking programs owned and operated by our highly trained US Government. The first alert, therefore, would come directly from the US Pacific Command, and this is how it would go:

"In the event of a genuine alarm, the US Pacific Command would issue a warning about five minutes after a missile is launched from North Korea. (That means they would alert local authorities)

About two minutes later, Hawaii's State Warning Point would activate an "Attack-Warning" signal on all outdoor sirens and transmit a warning advisory on radio, television and mobile phones (that means a siren would be sounded and THEN the phones and televisions would start broadcasting the alert warning.)

That would give Hawaiian residents and visitors "less than 12 to 15 minutes before missile impact".

US Pacific Command government website

So, to make sure this point is clear, as official sources confirm, the FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS IS THAT THEY ACTIVATE THE SIREN, and THEN they send out the notices. And by the way, they just changed the siren this last year. They wanted it to be taken seriously, so the siren is now a loud, wailing, and extremely insistent and constant noise. It wouldn’t just sound off a few times and then stop. It has been built to be noticed….well, except for Ron. The man has literally proven that he could sleep through ANYTHING.

Seriously though, this doesn’t mean everyone will hear it. It sure doesn’t mean that everyone would believe it. But it would have been very unlikely that it simply wouldn’t have happened. So, I stand by my contention that the reason there was no alarm was BECAUSE IT WAS A FALSE ALARM.

But there’s more:

2.       There were no instructions. Nothing, nada.

So, for those of us who have lived a few decades....I ask you: Do you remember those old Emergency Broadcast System warnings which said:

This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Had this been an actual emergency, the signal you just heard would have been followed by emergency information, news or instructions. THIS IS ONLY A TEST.

Of course, this old alert system is no longer in service, but the purpose of the current system is still the same. Clearly outlined procedures prepared by official government agencies are already prepared and a system is set up for their distribution. They will be everywhere - television, radio, and phone. 

Yet nothing was provided that Saturday morning except by, I gather, one television station which broadcast actual information of what to do (brownie points for them!) Why? Because a person sitting at a computer sent out a message that would have come as Step 2 or 3. 

Meanwhile, Step 1, which was that official alert from the US Pacific Command Center, did not happen, so the procedures for both the pre-discussed siren and available information for what to do DID NOT HAPPEN. And the reason we never received it is undeniable.....BECAUSE THIS WAS A FALSE ALARM! 

When I became aware of the alert, it was already 20 minutes into it. I flipped on the tv.....nothing. My phone, which usually won't stop screeching and buzzing when emergency messages are being shared, was silent. Radio? No. Internet? NO. Under the circumstance, I surprisingly made the conclusion that it was a mistake. And I was calm. And I did nothing....because I had nothing to tell me what to do and because it simply did not add up.

I’ve been greatly chastised for this opinion also. I gather I should not even consider taking the time, like I did, to seek information. Clearly I was wasting precious time seeking such information and questioning possibilities. I should have sought some unspecified shelter, like the terrified parents who tried to stuff their children down a manhole that would have placed these helpless children right in the middle of the methane gas filled sewer. Or driven down the street yelling for others to “take shelter because a bomb is coming". Or grab what I could - but didn't have - and climb in my bathtub, covering myself in radioactive proof blankets because the gaps around my bathroom window would clearly make any protection questionable. Forgive me for thinking that would not be helpful (not, mind you, that I'm mocking anyone who DID do that....but I would have been surrounded by glass sure to blow out...so for me, no option. 

Yep....the poor guy in the top left-hand corner....that would be me

With the information I wish I had then, I now recognize that fact that I should have gone into the house attached to our apartment where I could have gathered blankets, food and medical supplies and my handy dandy hand-crank flashlight and radio (which I actually do have) and hunker down in the only room with no window that is low to the ground----the laundry room. 

But wait, it would have done me almost no good. I live in a wood frame house, and that wonderful indoor laundry room? It isn't even close to airtight. In fact, it has major holes in the wall where previous repairs have been made on water pipes - BIG GAPING HOLES.

In actuality a brick building with no windows is the only appropriate place to live out a nuclear attack for the expected 14 days. But it would have to be close enough to get to in 10 minutes. Now let's see, That is probably the Cannon Activity Center at BYUH campus or the Hawaiian Journey Theater at the PCC or maybe Laie Palms Movie Theater - but only if the doors are open, which might or might not be the case early on a Saturday morning. 

Let alone that this was already 20 minutes into the ‘attack’. It was a little late to do anything at that moment. But yes, I absolutely should have run for cover. Everyone should run for cover. But to do so mindfully, they NEED information in order to do so correctly.




Here's the bottom line for me: I’ve worked in public health for years and this much I've learned from experience: A government entity is not inclined to send out a wide spread message sure to instill mass panic without also sending clear instructions on what to do next through every available form of communication channels.....unless, of course, they screw up. When they screw up, you hear......NOTHING until they figure out the best butt-covering move they can come up with. 

By the way - many people received an "all-clear" via their phone about 40 minutes later. I did not. Nor did Ron. I guess we should still be hunkered down, eh?

I do have one regret, and its a big one. I have a list of people Ron and I are assigned to call when a community emergency is happening. I should have called them. No doubt about it. It was my duty and responsibility. But I had no idea what to tell them. So I froze, because - and this is the contention that keeps getting me into trouble - I was right in figuring out that this was a false alarm. I can live with that. I should never assume I'm right when it comes to life or death. BUT what I can't settle out in my little brain is the fact that I'm irresponsible for pointing out the reasons in which I came to these conclusions but I would not have been wrong in heading out without a clue as to what to do, jumping into the fray of panic or trying to figure out with no information what 'take cover' would mean if such an attack was real.

Here's what I think was clearly wrong. I think it was inexcusable that the system was so easily screwed up. I think it was wrong that terrified tourists in Honolulu ran into the streets in mass confusion causing further hysteria. I think it was incredibly heartless that stores refused entrance and closed and locked their doors rather than let frightened and lost souls come in to probably some of the most protected (and lets admit it - prepared) places on the island. I mean, if I was 10 minutes away from a good ol' Costco, that's EXACTLY where I'd head.....let me tell ya!

4. I just want to talk a minute about the poor guy (1-20-18 edit, we'll respectfully call him the mentally ill guy now that the story has been clarified) who by personal and programmed short-comings sent this message out. People are demanding he be fired rather than reassigned. Some people want him jailed. Some particularly heartless people are saying 'kill him'. SERIOUSLY? What are we accomplishing here? Retribution? Justice? Really? We don’t know the full story. 

.......Okay, change that - we do at least THINK we know the story now....this man has some issues - so are we going kill the crazy guy? Hmmmmm? Well fine, I'm going to strike all of my previous thoughts about whether he deserved to be fired or not but I'd also like to remind people that mental illness is not a joke. If he had problems and employees were concerned about them for many years then the problem clearly lies with the management, don't you think? The rest of this fits, however - so I'm keeping it:

We don’t make a better world by pointing fingers and making demands in a situation we don’t even understand.

We make a better world by researching what happened and being willing to learn and make changes from those mistakes.

------------------------------

As far as I’m concerned, we should count ourselves blessed that we found out all of these errors BEFORE something actually happens.

I can tell you one thing. I’ve got the information now. Lots and lots of it. 2 weeks too late for ‘the test that wasn’t meant to be a test,’ but definitely something I can pay attention to and do something about. So, whether I made the right assumptions or the wrong assumptions – whether I should have run screaming down the street banging on doors begging SOMEONE to SAVE ME or should have gotten on the Internet to figure out ‘what the heck’, I’m in a better position now. That seems like good news to me.