Sunday, November 14, 2010

Not so sunny Rexburg

It's snowing and it's cold. 

Audra did well with her surgery.  I'm not going to post any pics of her here - she'd probably never speak to me again.  Sufficient to say....

But she's doing remarkably well and I can leave tomorrow morning to Utah with no worries.  My lil' girl is alright.  It's been a great trip though.  Sure wish she lived closer!

Thursday, November 11, 2010


I can't believe I made it through all 40 days!
Victory, victory to him that la la la

Course, now I have to confess that that less than an hour after my final post Ron and I got snarky and snooty.  Boy was I MAD!
But now I'm in Rexburg with my lil' Audra getting ready for her wisdom teeth being yanked tomorrow morning.

...and by the time I get back, it will be all forgotten

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Last challenge - Dare 40

This last dare unfortunately seems like a throw-away because it simply doesn't apply to us.  It talks about writing and renewing vows.  Though this may be an excellent step for others, renewing our vows is not going to give us those actions needed to keep moving forward.  Rather, committing to our divine callings as an eternal family and as followers of Christ would be where we would want to place our faith and focus.  

Because we were married before I became a member I do, however, have a copy of the vows we made 32 years ago.

Ronald/Nina, will you have Nina/Ronald to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony?  Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him so long as you both shall live?

I Ronald/Nina take thee Nina/Ronald, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us to part, according to God's holy ordinance: and thereto I pledge thee my faith.

The vows that we took a year later in the Temple were even more direct and allowed us to promise that we would be committed to each other for ever, and highlighted the power of eternal marriage.  

I am grateful that I am able to reflect upon the promises we gave each other as well as the promises Heavenly Father offered to us.  This union of three is a binding and wonderful contract and has blessed me all my life.  I love my husband  I love my family.  I love the Gospel.

"If young people “would resolve from the moment of their marriage, that from that time forth they would resolve and do everything in their power to please each other in things that are right, even to the sacrifice of their own pleasures, their own appetites, their own desires, the problem of adjustment in married life would take care of itself, and their home would indeed be a happy home. Great love is built on great sacrifice, and that home where the principle of sacrifice for the welfare of each other is daily expressed is that home where there abides a great love”  
Harold B. Lee

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Dare 39 - A Show of Commitment

"Sweetie, just wanted to thank you for being so supportive to my flying off into the wild blue yonder to be with our children.  They are, after all, the manifestation of who you and I are and have and will always be my life and purpose.  I know it must confuse you  at times, when you're working hard everyday and I'm off looking like I'm on long term vacation but you still know that I need to go where my heart is.  But honey – the most important thing is that you know is that my heart is with you 100% of the time.  You are a wonderful, intelligent and loving man and I am committed to you and will love you forever."

I am sharing my letter of commitment to Ron because it speaks of who we are to one another.   I've loved Ron for years, but as I've shared in earlier posts, life is not always a bed of roses.  Unfortunately there were times that I allowed my own pride and frustration flood away my unwavering commitment to us.  It's not that I stopped loving Ron.  That never happened.  But this month and a half has broken me loose from chains that held be back emotionally.   I have really grown during these 40 dares.

Tomorrow is my last challenge.  Yipee!!!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Dare 38 - Road map to the future

Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.

What would Ron want:
Retirement and enough $ to go someplace warm and exotic

Pray about it:

A plan:
  1. Sell the house and downsize (recognize that this takes planning - not happening soon, but I can start by refinancing at current rates and then doubling up on the payments)
  2. Explore possible places to retire to where both Ron and I could be happy
  3. Review investments (what little there is), Social Security and savings possibilities
  4. Keep PRAYING!
  5. Don't get into debt - be really, really wise
  6. Work to make sure our mission is in there too

Next Challenge - Day 39  Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse.  Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what.  Leave it in a place that your mate will find it

Micah 7:18  Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Dare 37 - The Family That Prays Together

We pray every morning and at every meal, at the start of trips, when home teachers visit.  We definitely pray as a family.

Now if we wanted to talk about personal prayers, we'd have a different discussion - but that wasn't the challenge (phew).

Next challenge - Dare 38 - Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.

Psalm 37:4 - Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Dare 36 - Scripture Study

I've mentioned it before.  I am terrible at scripture study and Ron and I seem to have some major hurdles in studying together.  This isn't a casual's a real roadblock.

In truth - reading scriptures is hard for an ADHD gal like me.  I have had some real problems in understanding and retention.  It has made me frustrated and rebellious.  Still, I have grown to love the scriptures, and have been working at finding ways to study and read.  I've loaded the scriptures onto my I-Phone and I read for 10 to 15 minutes each morning....well okay, MOST mornings.

Taken just a verse or two at a time, I find helps me the most.  I ponder just those few words and how they apply to my life.  I ponder how much these words could affect my children if they had access to them.  I ponder how I can help other people by living those principles.

The bigger problem with this challenge is in holding scripture study with Ron.  It's not that he's not willing,'s just not that easy to come up with a way we can do it together.  He studies scriptures so entirely different from me.  He understands them on such a greater level.  Ron's mind processes so differently then mine.  I hear a scripture and think:

a) Is it true?
b) Why?
c) What should I do?

Ron hears a scripture and thinks:

So, I have PONDERED the challenge again and am finding that the answer is "no".  The thing I need to do is NOT set Ron up to my being angry and disappointed in him for not cooperating or frustrated in not being able to understand what he's saying.  I will take this challenge as my opportunity to delve into the scriptures in a positive and forward manner. Let Ron love the scriptures his way and I will love them my way.

Next Challenge - Dare 37 - Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together.  Talk about the best time to do this, whether it's in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime.  Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord.  Don't forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing.  Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.

Psalm 88:13  But unto thee have I cried, O LORD; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Dare 35 - Marriage Mentor

I have lots of marriage mentors I can think of.  Chris and Debbie King, Steve and Catherine Holloway, Warren and Bonnie Archer.  But it just so happens (though I'm beginning to believe that there are no such things as circumstances) that Heavenly Father already led me to the answer through my Ipod.

I've been studying some of the more unique publications available to us through Church published electronic libraries and came across the "Marriage and Family Relations" Study Guide.  It seemed like such a perfect companion to what I've been trying to accomplish.

The first part is about marriage, the second part is about families.  Here are the chapters for the sections on marriage:

Ron and I took this course a few years ago and it was great then.  We really grew from it.  But I think I'm enjoying it even more now.  I particularly appreciated this information from Lesson 2:  Developing Unity:

If we are to have unity, there are commandments we must keep concerning how we feel. We must forgive and bear no malice toward those who offend us. The Savior set the example from the cross: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). We do not know the hearts of those who offend us. Nor do we know all the sources of our own anger and hurt. The Apostle Paul was telling us how to love in a world of imperfect people, including ourselves, when he said, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5). And then he gave solemn warning against reacting to the fault of others and forgetting our own when he wrote, “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as … I am known” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

All of the lessons seem to have been developed from talks given by our Church Leaders.

Yes, I think I have found my mentor - or 'mentors'. 

Next Challenge - Dare 36  Commit to reading the Bible every day.  Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance.  If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you.  Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.

Romans 15:4  For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Dare 34 - A Christian Man of Action

Ron is just a stupendous follower of Christ.  I talked to him about how many stories I hear regarding things he has done....with the Scouts.....with a on one or in a crowd.  Ron wears his beliefs on his sleeve and somehow he gets away with it when others would get their face slapped.  I think it's both his sincerity and enthusiasm.  I greatly appreciate how Ron reaches out to others.  It was great expressing my admiration and appreciation of his Christian values and example.  He's a wonderful teacher to me.  Honestly, what I talked about yesterday (his death defying behavior) works to such an advantage in this area. 

As far as Ron's concern...."There's nothing to be afraid of." 

 I really ought to make sure this is placed on his gravestone.  Oh wait, he's not going to have a gravestone..... which is a whole 'nuther subject (think burial at sea).
Actually, if we're talking about life mottos, Ron's would be one word...."Exquisite"  When he is truly happy, that is what he's thinking, whether its the perfect piece of prime rib

or a gorgeous sunrise
Outside our east window

or a wonderful church talk

or death.  Ron thinks all of them are 'exquisite'.  He has no fear, no barriers.  He has made it clear that the day he leaves this earth will be the ultimate 'exquisite' experience.  What can you do with that?  I think, I'll just be happy for him.

Next Challenge - Dare 35  Find a marriage mentor-someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you.  If you feel that counseling is needed then take the first step to set up an appointment.  During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.

Proverbs 11:14  Where no counsel is, the people fall:  but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.