Re: Old adage about whether the operator is smarter than the equipment....

So I dropped my laptop in California.

Yeah, I know.  Don't even say it.

So Tech Support over at the office said, hmmmmmmmmmm, you might want to get this looked at while it's still under warranty.  The problem was, I was out of state.  I decided, since it seemed to be functioning (most of the time), that I would need to wait until I got home.

Problem is, once I got home, I got busy (alright....lazy).

Yesterday morning, in the middle of sending out some e-mails, the darned thing just stopped finding the Internet.  Dang it!

So, after a few attempts by my son to see if he could figure it out (which obviously won't work if he's long distance which requires some Internet connection - duh) I got Technical Service on-line.

Two hours later, the computer checks out as working great.  I'm exasperated (mingled with relieved), so I decide to take a break and feed the fishies.

Funny, the pump is not running and the lights are not on the fish tank.

Oh, wait......

That's when I figure it out.  The power's off.

No power......no Internet.

Conclusion:  I am NOT smarter than a computer.

Or probably a pineapple for that matter.

Geesh......

What is the Power of Prayer?

I have a family that I love very, very much.  They are good people.  Life has been so difficult for them.  But they're still so wonderful and they deserve big BIG blessings.

What can I do besides love and pray for them and hold them tightly to my heart?

What is the power of my prayer?  And can that power be added onto?

I hope to find out.  I thought about it and decided to take further action by having their names put on five prayer rolls - one in Salt Lake City, one in Mt. Timpanogas, one in Snowflake, AZ, one in Logan, UT and one in Lubbock, TX.

Maybe if they close their eyes and stand still from time to time, they will feel strengthened from the many prayers united in their behalf.

In an article from the Ensign last month was the following assurances:

Handling Grief

• We are not left alone in our grief because Jesus Christ - "a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3) - has borne our sorrows as part of the Atonement.
• We can strive to resist the temptation to ask, "Why?"  Instead, we can ask for the Lord's guidance.
• We can accept the challenge to surrender our will to our Heavenly Father.

It is difficult at times to accept that bad times are strictly for refinement purposes.  I believe that sometimes bad things happen because of natural consequences to daily choices - and not necessarily OUR choices.  At other times, they happen because it is the natural results of our surroundings.  But the scriptures tell us over and over that we can grow under extraordinary circumstances.

"Behold, he did deliver them because they did humble themselves before him; and because they cried mightily unto him he did deliver them out of bondage; and thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards them that put their trust in him" (Mosiah 29:20)

Sometimes the scariest thing to do is to just 'try'.  Try to change.  Try to understand.  Try to maintain faith.  Yet it is that act of enduring to the end that the Lord requires from us.  That and the faith of a child in the process.

I have faith.  Sometimes I have to really challenge those faith muscles by lifting something REALLY HEAVY but I know that it is not Heavenly Father who fails us.  He loves us as much whether we're rich or poor, healthy or weak.

Post Script:  Ron and I watched an amazing movie last night called "Joshua."  I highly recommend it.  Ron would too, but he gets emotional talking about it.  Okay, you'll have to endure the first half, which is nothing short of smaltzy.  But after that.....it's an emotional and personal journey. It really brings the purpose of the journey back to the basics - that God loves all of us and wants us to find happiness.

Can I have a little WHINE with my breakfast, please?

What is it about summer that brings out the crankiness in people?  I read that the heat can do that to ya, but then again, I've read that about full moons, long winters and Diet Coke.  So there you go.  It's all working against us.

So the conversation with my husband this morning went like this:

Me:  There's this guy at the gym that's really getting on my nerves!  He is always leaving as I'm arriving.  Three years of the same old joke.  "I'm sorry Ma'dam, you're too late.  It's all over."  I'm done politely laughing.  I can't take it anymore!  

Ron:  So have you told him that?  Have you said "Look, you've told me that joke everyday for 3 years?

Me:  No, that seems confrontational.  I don't do confrontational.  I'm really uncomfortable with that.  I'll tell you what I'm doing.  I'm leaving 5 minutes earlier.  That way, I get there before he's going out the door.

Ron:  (Smirk)  GEEESSSSHHHH!   You mean to tell me that you would actually disrupt your schedule before you'd say something to the guy?

Me:  He's old.  I've been told he has dementia.  He's not going to remember, and I'd just feel mean saying it.  I'm not COMFORTABLE with that.

Ron:  So you're telling me that you can't just tell him that you don't want to hear the joke anymore?  You are unwilling to talk to him about it?  DOES THAT REALLY MAKE ANY SENSE TO  YOU?

Me:  I told you, I'm UNCOMFORTABLE doing that.  I can't be confrontational.  I'm not able to do that!

Ron:  So what you saying to me is that you would rather be miserable than just talk to the guy?

Me:  SPLOOOOKKKKKKSSSSSHHHH!  (That's my head blowing up)

So - here you are.  My example of a normal conversation between the man with no fear and the woman who is afraid of everything.  I'm talking about what I'm F-E-E-L-I-N-G ....he's trying to fix me.

Did I say I wanted to be fixed?  Did I say I want to be mean?  Did I SAY I wanted to be judged and laughed at?

Why no.  No, I did not.

Now, in the interest of fair play, I am going to post my husband's view of male/female conversations.

Okay, fine.  He MAY have a point.

Back on the subject of journals

I just finished a one year journal.  I wrote in it almost every Sunday.  What a year to pick!  so much has happened.  It's been a long, lovely, hard, frustrating, emotional, grief stricken and joyous year.

But I suppose every year has its moments!

I had to decide whether I was going to go for Year Two!  I decided that I would spare my lil' family from a mushy mommy overload.

Still, there's some really important things coming up...a wedding, two receptions, a family reunion, a dream vacation and a new beautiful grandbaby.  So...what to do, what to do?

I KNOW!  I'll blog about it.  More fun anyway - because then I can show pictures.

So, here's my first pic

This is my craft room.  I've been trying to get it in order in preparation for the g'babie's visit.  Hoping to be using it to work on crafts and fun stuff while they're here.

I'm having a hard time relaxing lately, because I'm sooooooo excited about having my family together.  I want to hug everyone twenty times over.  I want to make sure that they all get so much love that they can carry it back home with them and that it will lasts for a long, longggggggg time.  I want to bask in the warmth of it all.

Probably there will be a mix of all that with a few lil' quarrels and stuff - because we ARE, after all, family.  But I am looking forward to a most beautious time!

GRAND BABIES ARE THE BEST (2004 edition - lol)

Summertime....and the weather is, cold?

More water than we've ever had before.  The ponds look lovely.  The flowers are spectacular.  The vegetable garden?  Eh, not so good.  All in all, looking forward to Summer actually fulfilling the hopes of warmth and sunshine.

Journaling

We had a Relief Society Activity last Tuesday about journaling.  Mormons journal.  They just do.  For some reason we're just sure that there are people out there who actually want to hear us drone on and on about our exciting life.

I've always thought I haven't been that good at keeping journals, but I took stock of what I have and am a little shocked to see that I actually have 3 full journals, a number of trip diaries - with pictures, a letter binder (with letters from and to many different people), a number of scrapbooks and - of course - this and 2 other blogs.

So, here are a few entries:

October 30, 1983


It has been a good weekend.  Yesterday we worked and played hard.  After a morning of stacking wood for the winter, we took the ATC's out to the cinder pits east of town and had such good fun.  Michael and Kyle (my nephew) were learning how to drive the 90cc all by themselves.  They both did very well.  Roni tried hard, but had a tough time sterring.  After we came home, I stayed up til midnight cooking and cleaning.  Today we had the DeWitts over for corned beef and cabbage.  They are two very nice people.  


At church, after Relief Society one of the sisters came up to me and said "I feel I know your husband so well just from the things you say in Relief Society.  He must be a very special man."  I hadn't realized I talked about him so, but he really is pretty terrific - and as I said to her, he's the finest person I know.  


August 1989
Dearest Audra
   It has always been my habit to write a letter to my newborn baby.  Mike and Roni have theirs in their baby book and I chronicalized the events of their birth, but I have my diary for you, so that's covered.
   Therefore I wanted to take this opportunity to bear you my testimony.  You see, my sweetheart, I know that you were given to us through great faith and many prayers to our Father-in-Heaven.  You sure were worth the wait.
   You are such a great blessing to our family and your sweet spirit is a constant joy.  Know that you are loved dearly and completely by your family and by your Lord.  My prayers will always be with you.      Mom


Jones Journal - A newsletter that I wrote when I was babysitting in 1992 or 1993 (I should have noted a date!)

December:  AWESOME ACHIEVEMENTS

Alex - is very imaginative.  Whenever we color, he tells everyone what they drew.  He puts his own words to storybooks.  He sings great songs.
Ashely - is an expert at relacing shoes (hers and everyone elses.
Audra - is putting full sentences together.  All of a sudden, she's talkative.
Josie - is talking up a storm.  Her vocabulary is expanding at a fantastic rate.
Sean - crawls, climbs, and pulls himself up to a standing position.
Stephanie - is our little helper.  She is very willing to find, retrieve, put away...she is wonderful to have around.
Thad - knows how to clean up to get ready for lunch and then - of course - he's always the first one there.

E-mail from my trip to India
Nov 1999
   Today I witnessed something very special.  Dr. Mrs. Ramakant (isn't that a fun way to say a name) was negotiating a marriage for a woman's daughter.  Marriages are arranged here through the daughter's family.  The parents make a formal proposal.  This family making the proposal lives in Agra which is two hours away, so a written letter was presented by Dr. Mrs. Ramakant to the son's mother asking for her permission for their daughter to marry their son.  The mother was nervous about the proposal.  She wanted her son to marry in the same caste.  India is on a caste system.  I cannot explain this system well, except to say that there are several levels of society and this mother wanted her son to keep in the same level.  However, the son and the other family's daughter have fallen in love and are hoping that this mother will relent.  Dr. Mrs. Ramakant believes that she will allow the marriage, so this has been a special day.

   ...The problem with being in a completely foreign land is that you end up being almost at the level of a small child.  I eat, sleep, even use the restroom facilities at the whim or will of others.  I can never just wander off - which is truly a bad idea here, not just for safety, but there is also no doubt that I would become immediately lost.  IMMEDIATELY....and that is a scary proposition.  I am enjoying myself, and have been treated so very kindly - but the speech that Dorothy makes after returning home keeps running through my mind..."well I've learned that if you are searching for your hearts desire it is no farther than you're own backyard.  and oh, Toto, there's no place like home." (or something like that).  I will NEVER watch that movie without bursting into tears again because I really know what its saying now.

E-mail from me to Ron saved in his travel journal while in Jerusalem, April 11, 2001
Are you warm or cold?  Are you eating well?  are you taking pictures?  Did you bring enough clothing and incidentals?
I found a live cam for the Wailing Wall.  Wouldn't it be fun to see you there?  I read up on the tour through the temple wall.  It sounds very interesting.  I hope you get to go.
I looked it up and will remind you that church is held on Saturday from 10:00 a.m. - 1:00 pm.  Remember, it is up Mt. Scopus.
I am happy to hear about all of the armed guards, I think.  Does it help everyone to be calm, or does it rile things up at times?  At night, I dream about you A LOT.  So far you seem to be safe and happy in my dreams.  I hope that you keep that way - both in my dreams and in reality.

Well, that's basically a snapshot of about 30 years.  I think my family is going to be grateful that I don't have a journal for every year!  All in all, I do have a lot of memories to look back on.  I'm grateful for what I've written down, there is so much I've forgotten.  I've also found things written by my family and friends that I've kept along the way.

After all is said and done - and having gone through this experience recently, I want to tell my darling family that they don't have to hold on to these journals forever....nothing is going to happen if you throw them away.  RELAXXXXXX!

Just make sure and build your own memories and leave some glimpses for your loved ones.  It will mean the world to them, honest.

What IS lovely and virtuous? Apparently, not me!

I know that there are times that I swirl around in self doubt and that is not a positive way of thinking, but I've noticed lately that I am simply a pain in the patooty.  I'm picky, I'm driven and I'm pushy.  There it is.  I can not deny it.

I don't like those attributes. 

What do the scriptures say about such behavior?  My husband and my youngest daughter LOVE to quote me Proverbs 21:19:  [It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Greattttttttttttt.

I like soft.  I like dignified.  I like quiet faith and fortitude.

When I look through the Scriptures, the women seem sweet, reverent and demure.  The world may think that isn't an ideal woman, but....well, I do!  My mother was that way, well, unless you REALLY ticked her off, and then only for a moment. 

The scriptures provide the basis for the following list:

Attributes of a Godly Woman

She is at peace with God & herself.
She is submissive.
She has a meek & quiet spirit.
She has a servant's heart.
She does not call attention to her physical beauty.
She considers homemaking a high & noble call.
She is a joyful person.
She is a woman of prayer & devotion to God.
She is a loving person.
Sooooooo much work to do!

So, for those who I push, prod and pull.  I really am sorry.  I am trying.  And for those who want to defend me, DON'T.  I'm ready to admit my mistakes and try my hardest to progress out of it all.  I think EVERYONE will be able to relax and enjoy life more, including me.