Monday, July 5, 2010

Rub a Dub Dub, Nina in the Tub

So, I have nothing exciting to say, so I decided to reach wayyyyyy back into my cobwebbed mind and talk about.....

BATHTUBS!

You see, bathtubs and I have a love/hate relationship.  I was actually deathly afraid of bathtubs as a kid.  You can blame my evil brothers - Steve and Ken.  It's all their fault.  They learned this song called "Gladys, Where Are You Going?

Gladys, where are you going?
Upstairs to take a bath.
Gladys, with legs like toothpicks
And a neck like a giraffe..affe...affe...affe...affe...affe...affe...affe
Gladys stepped in the bathtub.
Pulled out the plug
Oh my goodness, (la la la - can't remember)
There goes Gladya down the drain...
Glub, Glub, Glub!

Well, the stinkers convinced me that I would go down the drain too.  I can still vividly remember a dream where we moved to a two story brick house and I went to take a bath and - zip! - down the drain I went.  I ended up in a bathtub in the basement of the house.  In my dream I look out of the little air window that houses in California had to keep things ventilated - you know, little rectangles covered in screen material - and saw the mailman.  I had to call out to him to come and save me.  He (again - this is a dream folks) comes over, pulls out his pocket knife and cut the screen away so I could escape.  Mind you, the hole is only 5 inches by 10 inches....so it makes no sense - but HEY, I already fit down a bathtub drain so what are you arguing with me for?  Anyway, in my dream I hop out the hole and run back upstairs to finish my bath where (and I know you see this coming, don't you?) ZIP!  It starts all over again.

The final nail in the coffin was a skit on the Jackie Gleason show.  There is Art Carney scrubbing away in a bubble bath.  He pulls the bath tub plug (one of those rubber ones on a longggggg chain.)  All of a sudden he gets this horrified look on his face.  The next thing you know, he's gone and they cut to a shot of the drain with his hand sticking up waving for help.  GEEESSSHHHHH!

Needless to say, I refused to get in the tub unless my sister PROMISED not to pull the plug.  Meanwhile, there are my brothers, singing that stupid song on the other side of the door howling and making fun of me.  

I told Mom on them.  But they wouldn't stop.  Scarred for life, let me tell ya!

How old was I now?  I had to have been 5 or so.

Anyway, I got over that one eventually because my dad insisted.

Dad worked like a madman.  He would hold two to three jobs down to feed the brood.  One weekend job was as a Fuller Brush Man.  I remember once using a sample packet of some of their shampoo.  I SWEAR that I went into the bath with short hair and miraculously came out with long hair.  Honest!!!!  I thought that Fuller Brush stuff was just miraculous!  My dad just thought I was crazy.

Another bathtub memory - my parents loved to hold parties.  These were not kid parties.  We had to go to bed.  Meanwhile, Mom, Dad and the revelers would be hoopin and hollering and having a GRAND time!  They had this real big blowout one New Years Eve.  I woke up in the morning (early, we kids always woke up around 6:00 a.m.) and the bathtub was overflowing with balloons.  I had never seen so many balloons.  Man, I was convinced that my parents must be the best party givers in the world if they had balloons in the bathtub! 

Last memory, which should have been the first, since its the earliest....but I'm only a baby here, so it doesn't count.  This famous picture hung in our house forever!  My parents made each of us kids a poster size of this when we grew up.  Had the strangest smell of vinegar.  Weirdest thing - totally faded out within a couple of years.

This would be around 1958.  I'm the cutest one, and the one least likely to be embarrassed about posting this since I'm just a little tyke.



And that's it on the bathtub memories!

4 comments:

  1. That was fun! I'm not sure that I have any bathtub memories....I'll have to think about that.

    I want more! (memories, that is)

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  2. Well, that may be possible. My brother gave me a BUNCH of pdfs from my childhood (and my parents and grandparents too). So, next time I'm stuck, I'll share some more!

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  3. Your brother gave you a bunch of PDFs from your childhood? Where's mine? Which brother? I want some!!

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  4. Errrrrrrrrrrr, I need to figure out how to get them to you. Probably a disk, huh? They were copied by Keith a few years ago. A few good golden oldies. I figure it out and send it your way.

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