Radiating the Spirit - Nephi Setoki and the power of living an honorable life

I have this problem with names – I can’t remember them. I remember waking up one morning, looking at my husband sleeping and suddenly panicking because I simply could not remember his name. It took me a good 5 minutes to come up with it.

This problem has manifested itself in a strange sort of way here in Laie’. I seem to have the problem of calling every Polynesian man “Nephi”. Especially this poor guy named Seth. Wonderful fella in his own right, but all the same, I’m always calling him Nephi.

I’d better explain.

I work with Nephi Setoki. He is our webmaster – with a big emphasis on the word MASTER.

Nephi during a promo trip. That's him on the right.

For those not of our faith, the name Nephi comes from an ancient prophet in the Book of Mormon. It is a noble name, one that carries with it great promise and responsibility. Nephi Setoki honors that name with the same faith, courage and humility as Nephi of old.  

Nephi was born in Samoa – and moved here as a child. He is a graduate of our own Kahuku Middle School and High School just north of the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC).

He has always worked for PCC. He started as a dancer. He then moved to the Promo Team, then over to Sales and is now working in Ecommerce, where I am assigned.

Nephi is the most humble, unassuming man. First and foremost, his family is the center of his world. He is a self-taught photographer, he plays a mean ukulele, and he is well trained in the ancient Hawaiian hula and his own Samoan dances. Besides that, he is a big, muscular, imposing looking dude.

Nephi modeling his own clothing line - and developing
his own graphic art

He knows absolutely everyone here. It’s very difficult to walk through PCC with him – especially when you are in a hurry. EVERYONE stops him to talk story, hug and laugh. Nephi’s laugh is the best laugh you’ve EVER heard, so that's always part of the fun.

To truly explain his character and grace, I want to share a quick story. Nephi has a very pronounced scar on the back of his head. I never asked what happened, but Elder Jones, who never hesitates when he is curious said, “Nephi, I noticed your unusual scar. Tell me the story”.

Nephi explained that one day, back when he was a dancer, he was performing in the canoe pageant. Suddenly he collapsed with a seizure right in the middle of the performance. He was rushed to the hospital where they found that he had a brain tumor. 

“This scar is my badge of honor,” he told us. “It saved my life.”

This is actually a picture of Nephi on that fateful day when he found out that

something was obviously not working quite right....

We discussed whether to include this very personal picture. Ultimately,

Nephi decided that he would as he has been hoping for years to

locate the doctor in the crowd who stepped up to help him. Maybe

sometime, somewhere, someone will recognize the picture.

This was in the Summer of 1991.

That Nephi not only survived, but flourished is a testament not only to his courage, but his great faith. Nephi knows where his strength comes from. He has a solid and abiding love of the gospel as well as the culture, the purpose and the beauty of the PCC. He personifies the deep commitment many of our Polynesian brothers and sisters have to this blessed place. It is one of my greatest honors to be working with him. His kindness and dignity inspires me every day.

So I call all Poly-men Nephi because he is the measuring stick for me.

Luckily, when I call Seth by Nephi’s name, he politely corrects me and then always adds “but thank you, that’s quite an honor”.

Nephi 4:20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

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Just for fun, I've included the link to a video clip I found. Nephi (in the white shorts) was helping to coordinate this dance for the 2013 50th anniversary of the PCC. This was the practice video for the following dances - (CLICK HERE) The Sasa and the Lapalapa

The Perfect Package - Steve and Bea Cheney

By now our friends should be getting the idea that we live in a remarkable area with remarkable people. It is such a pleasure sharing their stories.

It's time for another.

Let me introduce Steve and Bea Cheney. Gosh, I love these people. They are the perfect package: Humility, faith, hard work and adorable. See if you agree.

Steve Cheney has had quite the life, His mom loved to entertain. Not entertain as in lovely dinner parties. Entertain as in grab the instruments, train the children, throw the whole family up on stage and play music for the customers. He spent much of his childhood playing 'gig's in and around the Salt Lake area.....sometimes even in a hidden 'bar' in downtown Salt Lake City, and later in Honolulu.

Steve playing bass (age 13) at "The Homestead" in Midway, Utah
with mom, step-dad and grandfather

In the meantime, his future bride, who was born and raised here in Hawaii, worked hard and studied harder. She was a quiet girl, sweet, respectful, and a stunning beauty.

Steve didn't grow up in an active family - but there was a point in his life at age 19 that the Lord's hand guided him towards the Church. This came about because he began attending college at The Church College of Hawaii (now renamed BYU-Hawaii). It is there that Steve and Beas's paths crossed. It was there they fell in love. It did not take long before they knew that they were going to be married, but first, Steve clearly came to understand that he needed to serve a mission. He was called to serve in the "Western States Mission"

So, off on a mission he went. Bea supported him, the Lord guided him, and his testimony grew.

After his mission, he returned and resumed classes. He and Bea married within weeks. Steve augmented their very tight budget by playing the steel guitar, which he had learned to play in 1961, at various venues across the island. He studied wood working and cabinetry making in school. Both of these activities were wonderful skills to have around the island. It helped them to continue in school and to start a family.

One day, however, catastrophe struck when Steve lost parts of three fingers on his left hand while in woodworking shop. It was impossible to play the steel guitar. It was impossible to do carpentry work. Steve and Bea fell into some very lean times, indeed and had to live off of Bea's salary at the PCC, but Steve was determined. He found a way, through much practice and some modifications to play the steel guitar, and as soon as he healed, he began carpentry work again.

Their living conditions were basic, their income spotty and so Steve eventually ended up leaving school.....and their family grew. They had 8 children in all, 7 boys and 1 girl.

Steve found after a while that his family needed a bigger place to live. But how? The industrious Cheneys knew that the solution was in their hands, and so....they built a house. It took 2 years, but with very hard work, both on the house and with the two jobs necessary to obtain their goal, the Cheneys were now homeowners.

And still the family grew and grew, so much so that only two years later it became clear that it was time to find a larger house. And so the process started all over again.

As I read through Steve and Bea's extensive biographies, it became clear that challenges were constant. The entertainment business is a dog-eat-dog world, and the construction industry is no less so. Steve suffered a number of broken contracts, false promises and outright swindles. Yet he and Bea worked through the disappointments and chose to forgive and move on. Some people may even fault them for being that 'soft', but I found the opposite. Their great faith, positive attitudes and determination to move forward is a talent and virtue that has sustained them through trials that would crush most of us. One of the most difficult happened during this time in their lives.

It was a hot afternoon in 1983. Steve and Bea had just successfully obtained a building permit for a new home that morning. Steve relates that he was inside his house when he heard a squeal of brakes and a thud. Running outside, he found that his 7 year old, Ammon, had been hit by a car. Despite great efforts by medical personal and bystanders, Ammon was declared dead upon arrival at the hospital.

The loss of a child did not change the fact that they Cheneys needed to continue moving forward. They built their 2nd home and moved into it in 1985. It was only partially finished, and took several years to complete, but they did what they've always done and finished it bit by bit.

In 1986 Steve had a clear impression that he needed to return to college to finish his education. It turns out that this was extremely providential as the degree he was working towards was dropped shortly thereafter.

Some of Steve's handiwork.....

His handmade steel guitar

During these times Steve was either working at The Polynesian Cultural Center or BYU-Hawaii. Both his musical and woodworking skills certainly came in handy!

In reviewing Steve's biography through the 90s up until the early 2000s, life was pretty normal for the Cheney family. Sons went on missions, and one-by-one the children began to marry. Steve worked hard by day and played music by night. He and Bea traveled a bit to attend conventions and musical events. It seemed as if they were finally able to live a simple, carefree and happy life.

I refer to his next entry, from 2006:

Bea was diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease this year.  At first it was traumatic to Bea to be diagnosed but I constantly reassured her that I would take care of her and be there for her.  This initial diagnosis was incorrect as years later it was found out to be DRPLA.  For Bea’s sake and to her wishes, we tried our best to not make a big thing about her disease and just lived life as normal as we could as the disease progressed.   We try to keep her condition low key to others as much as possible.

It becomes difficult not to mention Bea's diagnosis, not because of the tragedy of it all, but because of the quiet triumph that comes from two humble people who love each other so much that they can and will take what comes and utilize it to the best of their abilities. Steve is a devoted husband, and there is no doubt that Bea would be lost without him. But Bea is still Bea. She is loving, she is funny, and she is in every way Steve's other half. They are an eternal unit, formed through trials, tears, happiness and faith. They don't travel, but then again, they don't need to. They don't live in a mansion, but they live in a sturdy home built with their own hands. They aren't the world's definition of famous, and yet.....they are known around the world.

Every evening except for Sunday they come to the Polynesian Cultural Center luau as volunteers. Steve plays his handmade steel guitar. Bea cheers him and the other performers on and helps to guide guests coming in and out. Whichever of the missionaries assigned to 'Exit Duty' gets to sit next to Bea and drink in her beauty, be touched by Steve's quiet dedication, and in all circumstances witness a perfect marriage. Perfect because it accepts imperfections. Perfect because it is built on trust, hope and faith. Perfect because it is eternal.

As I said earlier, the perfect package. God bless them.

"I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. There are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal..." Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Courageous Devotion - Comes From Food & Beverage

A couple of Saturdays ago the Food & Beverage Department held their annual devotional. It was a wonderful experience for all who attended. The speakers were especially inspirational.

Taylor Young was faced with the challenge of being courageous when her father died while she was still a young girl. She described being a teen who missed her dad, and making the decision to come to BYU-H. The transition was difficult, and has taken much courage, but she is finding great blessings. "We all have small moments of courage," she said.

"I am inspired by the dishwashers and BBQ Lunch Crew," she continued. She explained how the dishwashers make it a point to fulfill their job. Even after a hard day they push to complete their responsibilities. She then highlighted the BBQ Lunch crew. “They have great experiences, because they choose to portray a positive and enduring attitude.”

President Peter F. Uchdorf, during his visit to the PCC last week,  stated that our 'efforts will be bless if we continue in faith". Taylor takes great courage in this promise. She is very proud of the entire crew for their faith and their courage.

Imeleta Coffin is both a returned missionary and a convert to the Church. She discussed the importance of moral values, quoting our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, who said "...in order for us to make the correct decisions, courage is needed—the courage to say no when we should, the courage to say yes when that is appropriate, the courage to do the right thing because it is right."

She compared the act of courage like unto Nephi, when commanded to return to Jerusalem to obtain the plates. He did not waiver, but went and did as his father told him to do.

Imelta also had to face fear and make a decision based on faith, even though it was very hard. She was raised in a devoutly Catholic family. Her father went to Mass every day. When she decided to go on a mission, she went to her father to tell him of her decision. He was very angry and told her "if you leave, you are no longer my daughter."

She had to choose whether to stay and be a daughter to her dad or go to do what the Lord wanted her to do. She had faith that the Lord would touch her father’s heart in the future.

After her mission, she went home. When she arrived at the house, her father asked her to come over and sit by him. She was surprised, because she expected him never to speak to her again. He told her "I am proud that you came home and served with honor".

"You are not still mad," she asked him?

He placed his arm around her and asked if she would go to his baptism the next day, while she was still ordained a missionary.

Two years later, she was attending school here at BYU-Hawaii when she received a call that her father had passed away. This has been very difficult, but she is so grateful for the gospel in her family’s life.

Imelta explained that Jesus Christ gave her the courage to push through. After all, it was Jesus Christ, in the Garden who had the courage to take upon Him the sins of the entire world.

Siniteke Fotu is from Tonga. She talked about how nervous she was the first day of work at the PCC Food & Beverage Department. "I thought, I hope I won't cut off my finger,” she explained. “It was not long before I found that I loved my job".

She shared a great quote: "With hope you gain courage. With courage you gain confidence. With confidence you will find that there are no limits to what you can do."

She told us that "we may come without knowing how to do our jobs, but because of our willingness, we learn so fast. Some of us are happy to receive a paycheck, some are happy for the experience, but all of us feel nervous. Maybe we worry about how to respond to a guest, or how to cook the food".

"Small and simple things make great things come to pass," she said. "When we have courage, everything is possible." (Alma 37.5)

The last speaker was our recently retired VP of Operations, Logo Apelo. He gave the students great words of encouragement. "It takes courage to do whatever it takes to get an education. Look at all of the people depicted on the art work in the murals on the wall," he instructed. "It took courage for these people to build this place so that you and I can have a better future." He thanked the students for their courage to do what is right and advised us all that "with the spirit of our ancestors, we all work to make sure that the PCC will continue on. We've faced tough times all these 50 years", he reminded us.  "Do you know how we survived? Through the courage of our employees."

Logo finished with these words: "Let's do everything we can and leave the rest to the Lord."

And with those amazing words ringing in our ears - and with our hearts full of gratitude and inspiration, we headed off to feast and dance.

Chef serving our Administrators

One of his marvelous creations (fish)

   

A quick note regarding Fifita Unga, head of F&B. This is a woman of grace, courage and an amazingly level head. She is a mentor and example to her staff. She is exacting in what she wants - which is for her department to be as good as they possibly can. She starts at the top, with herself, by giving her whole heart and best effort. We all love and respect her very much.

The Hardest Part of a Mission

I protest! This is not good planning. Today was the farewell of 3 - count them....THREE of the sister missionaries that work in my office. A few weeks ago Sister Miller left and now, the other three sisters in my office are leaving me too.

I can't believe they would do this to me, seriously.

Okay, so it's not all about me (except in this blog....where let's be serious, it's TOTALLY about me - oh, and that hero of mine. It's about him too.)

But lets get back to the subject at hand.

My friends are leaving and I am staying - here in....oh yeah......Paradise. Okay, I'll quit whining. But I can't promise to like it. I will REFUSE to like it. I'll wish them well, and smile and even be excited for them. But I ain't gonna like it!

It all started with Monday's Family Home Evening, where Sisters Bisson, Cummings and Edginton gave their farewell talks. It's like this for every returning missionary. They get an opportunity to say a few words, then we sing Aloha Oe (and cry a LOT) and then line up and hug and cry some more. Personally, I spent most of that evening staring at the ceiling - because looking at any of these ladies would start the waterworks.

Sister Bisson

Sister Cummings

Sister Edginton

Singing Aloha Oe

Elder Jones waiting for his turn to hug and sniffle.

Today's Luncheon - Thank yous and praise all around

The good-byes continued throughout this week ending with the big farewell luncheon today. So many people showed up, there was no room left in the Board Room. That's how loved these women are.

with President Grace

So I end this pity party with an explanation of how I really feel - both about the experience of being away from my own family and the special circumstances of these great women I serve with as expressed in a cultural belief I shared in Devotional last week:

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Radiate the Spirit – I live to radiate the spirit of God every day in every way

We refer to this particular Cultural Belief the most often – probably because it is the first one on the list. But I wanted to take a different angle on this subject this morning, if you will indulge me.

There is nothing quite like the look on the face of one of the missionaries, especially the sister missionaries, when they start talking about their families.  This is particularly true when a family member is coming to Hawaii for a visit. We women get downright giddy about it.

Yes, it is difficult for us to leave them and come to this little island in the middle of the sea. But we have been promised that sweet blessings will come from that sacrifice.

I personally received direct instruction from the Lord that if I were to place my trust in Him, exercise faith, and serve with my whole heart, that my family would be blessed abundantly. And so they have. The miracles in their lives have been beyond my wildest dreams. I have been so humbled. I am so blessed.

So we missionaries, on top of all the wonderful blessings that come from serving a mission, also feel great joy in how our missions serve our families.

A missionary never stands alone. Even though our precious family is not physically here beside us, they are truly here in spirit, backing us every day.... praying for us, calling and writing to us, loving us every step of the way.

…and I have discovered – and I say this with great reverence – that this support does not just come from our family members here on Earth.

I can testify that I have felt the presence of our loved ones who have left this Earth also. This is especially true of the beautiful single sisters who serve us. 

My dear friends, I want you to know, first off, that I never think of you as “single”. Your loved one is here too – supporting, loving and blessing you for honoring your eternal union. I see their influence. I feel the united strength you two built and how it has made you the great warrior that you are. I feel them here, right now, working with you, side by side. Their spirit radiates from your heart, and it is magnificent to behold.

How grateful I am for eternal families – for the gift, the promise and the blessings they bring.

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....and just to be clear - how extremely grateful am I for the blessing of these angels in my life. Oh, I really will miss them so. Keep in touch, dear friends. And God's speed!

One Year Later....Our Missionary Report - of sorts

One year ago today we walked into the MTC. We left behind the worldly things like mortgages, jobs, even television. I remember that I was actually shaking, I was so scared. It was like walking into another universe - and as excited as I was, I was also so worried about measuring up.

Elder Jones, on the other hand, was as calm as ever. He just doesn't let things ruffle him.

So here we are, one year later - a year of ups and downs. Days I've been so tired, my legs could hardly carry me. Nights without sleep. Tears on the pillow. Sweat so heavy my skin actually gets crusty. Sundays when I think "I just want one Sacrament Meeting where I can actually hear the speaker over the crying babies." One day at work where I don't say something silly or lose something or greet a colleague by the wrong name. Yep - there are definitely some challenges out there.

But life is about challenges, and fortitude and resolve and faith. Without challenges, life would be very dull indeed.

I saw a quote last night that said "There are two types of tired, I suppose one is a dire need of sleep. The other is a dire need of peace." I've felt both. Yes, a mission - as well as marriage, service, crack-of-dawn exercising, praying, hoping....and now caretaking of a big ol house on the beach....it can all be so very exhausting and overwhelming.

But I wouldn't trade this experience for the world.

I could have been assigned to the deep, dark jungles of Africa, or the cold and barren hills of Siberia, and I still wouldn't trade it for the world.

As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, "if for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived."

I think about the people I admire most. Each one of them have been sorely tested, and through this amazing process of life, became mentally stronger while miraculously letting their hearts become softer. 

Yes, I can do this...and I LOVE doing this. 

I love sitting next to my visiting teaching partner - a lovely young mother from Korea as we visit our assigned sisters from the ward. I always give the lesson, and because she feels limited in her language skills, she always shares a simple hymn. Such a pure voice. It's like a sweet moment of quiet joy for me - every month. 

I love shaking hands with the children in our ward. They all seem to get this serious look on their face, like they are performing a sacred duty. Shake the missionary's hand, look down at their toes and say in a low voice "good morning, Sister". So adorable.

I love walking into the temple - one of the only places in the world where my mind actually lets me relax (sometimes too much, as I tend to fall asleep at the most inopportune times). I feel so connected to my loved ones on the other side of mortality - who I miss so very much. I feel so connected to my Lord - and rejoice every time I learn something new about His ministry and His love for me and my family.

I love the Polynesian Cultural Center where I serve. The beauty and the spirit of it humbles me every day. It is an awesome wonder how Heavenly Father has created this great blessing for the world.

I love serving with the other missionaries, young and old. I just love them so much, I can't think of words to describe it.

I love my mission. I begin to dread when it will be over. I hope the next 9 months don't zoom by as quickly as these first 12 have. I want to drink in this great blessing. Soak up this love. Radiate this light that has been given for us to share.

This morning I went for my run on the beach and dip in the ocean. It was a good day to bring my camera. Somehow, I think this picture says it all - this sums up my mission to me:

Sunrise

Ocean waves

Light reflected

Rocky shoreline

Cool water

Stunning colors

A few clouds

Husband waiting patiently for me to come back in...

A moment of peace

Yet still kicking to keep my head above water.....

- all of it equals Paradise to me.

Me - kicking away. LOVE this new FinePix Camera!